Love. I am a mosaic of everyone I have ever loved.

Love. I would like to say that it is my favorite word. My favorite feeling. I dont mean just romantic love, I mean all of it. Platonic love is something I swear by. We all have our little love languages and I have always been a physical touch kind of person. But I never wanted to be IN LOVE…not really. It was just scary. Putting your trust and heart into a partner is terrifying.

Jeremy and I met when we were little 17 year olds trying to figure high school out. He and I are polar opposite. I am expressive and fiery and impulsive. He is nonchalant, calm, and thoughtful. I think that is why it works so well.

“the way he loved her untamed, with breathing room and growing space letting her have wings and fire burning….how he’d just watch the light play with the glow in her skin”

-Butterflies Rising

I have never read something that felt so real. I am a lot. I know I am. I require more than anyone can actually give me, yet I feel so fulfilled with Jeremy because he allows me the space to grow and change when trying to learn myself in the ways I never had to before. If we were the same kids we were in 2014, then what’s the point of all of this.

Together, we have celebrated great triumphs and great loss. The joy and love we felt on our wedding day mixed with the pain of losing my father makes this all feel so much deeper. The way he would wash my hair for me when I could not even move after my father passed. The way he cooks me dinner just how I like it, while also introducing me to new foods along the way. Nothing is too insignificant to me when there is love.

“Where there is love, nothing is too much trouble and there is always time”

-Abdul’-Baha

But romantic love is one thing, like we know how it is supposed to feel. We know how our partners are supposed to protect your heart.

Platonic love is something I cannot describe in words. I know when I speak about my friends, I get emotional. I dont know how to express how they make me feel without outwardly expressing emotion. I have met people who have filled little pieces of my heart in ways I did not realize they could. But it also HURTS more than we can explain.

“Nothing of me is original, I am the combined effort of everyone I have ever known”

-Chuck Palahniuk

The little things. The little shows of platonic non-sexual intimacy within friends that makes you feel safe. Its the hand holds, long hugs, legs resting against each other when sitting on the couch, forehead kisses…but its also the crying for hours together on the kitchen floor, the pain we feel through each others loss, the stupid fights we get in that end in tears and regrets even though we know how much love we have for each other. Its knowing we would sacrifice time for each other just to make them smile. Its the little gestures of kindness that mean the world without them even knowing. Platonic love is something so special that it has more meaning than we even know. In a way, sometimes platonic love could be all you have left. Cherish it.

“Of all things, Love is the most potent”

-Maria Montessori